angst 2

I am explaining my angst. The following are how I live from day to day.

1.)Had a very stressing day at work last week. I was like everywhere. I was around the metro, having a very tiring day. walking and checking all the stores. Visualizing to make the store great. I myself knows that i need to learn something a lot…maybe this is what i really am. A seeker of what’s beautiful and what is not. I was like planning on investing the beauty of my job. I am me and nothing in between. As I have said, your the only person who can defeat yourself. Sounds very aggressive. Yet I need to be.

2.)Metro Manila is very chaotic. Friday was heavy in traffic. It’s payday. I awarded myself with a spa. Amazingly it pays off all of my stress. yet again I was like thinking of my job again. How stressing it may be. All jobs jobs jobs. Finally I need to be in the fashion scene to be able to cope up with whats the latest, so I am reading a lot and coping up a lot. I need to be a paparazzi to be able to explain the field that I am into. Funny is that I really studied arts and I know what’s the in between of all the industry now a days. But not all. I am just coping it up with what I am doing everyday.

3.)Had a sarcastic argument with my brand marketing. The store was out of stock. And for all she must know that I did my shit in putting all up her exhibit. I was like no sleep and tired for her  campaign. But still I was the one who is still doing what she should be doing. I really cannot understand if she is directing me properly or I am the one directing her. Maybe because the previous visual was really accommodating but I am really very not yet familiarize with what I am doing. I am really scared that I might be doing the all the work and I will be the one who will get in trouble if something went wrong. She is really a stubborn woman who only think with her head and not hates comments.

4.) I am point blank clueless already. I am really so unsure with were should I really be starting.